What did you loose? — The old man at the stop sign asked after observing my frozen self. My fragile body at a stand still with eyes glaring into the abyss, present I was definitely. I felt the breeze blow westward towards me, saw the dirty unpaved road that led to my initial departure but still I stared..
I bet we’ve all experienced this before but you know that feeling after visiting a friends and on your way back home you get that strong feeling in your gut that you have forgotten something pretty valuable, the split second before you actually reach your hands around your body giving yourself that security check, that’s exactly how I felt.
What have I lost? my mind wandered and suddenly the old man came towards me and I bounced out of the trance I was in. I lost something dream giver, what have I lost? what have I lost?!! I do not know if the walk so far has given me some fatigue or made me burn so many calories I feel much lighter but no I disagree. In every journey you we are destined to have moments of extreme happiness, unfortunate lows and stagnant middles. Life comes with trials, growth and true realization of our individuality on earth. Trust me even the exciting parts of life comes with a lot of fear and hunger to use your talents to be who you were born to be, express your creativity.
Dream Giver I lost something on my way here, I lost something but I was so numb and used to my routine of walking, getting to the finish line but I lost a very important part of me. The main piece of me I got attracted to a long time ago, when I wrote rap verses in my rap book hoping to someday inspire the youth like Kendrick Lamar or express my versatility like Kanye West.
You might ask did you stop raping? The answer is Yes
Is that what you think you lost? The answer is No. I strongly believe there are things you outgrow and some you realize aren't good for your growth, maturity and awareness.
I feel whole, ambitious but empty because I lost a talent my dream giver gave me at the start of my race. Have I been so bad you took that away from me? The old man replied
My son don’t rush, breathe and think of where you started your race and embodied the true consciousness of you? challenges you faced that made you assertive today? the best running method that helped build your endurance to get you so far? why you fear rebuilding your courage in your new found habits? Don’t rush, breathe and think again did you really loose something?
In that moment I looked at him and smiled, not an excited one but a happy one. Assured in the fact that above all things my peace was restored and I felt renewed with hope for a better tomorrow.
I am ready to move forward but I ask myself again… What have I lost?